The Gospel, God's Love, and Family

A friend recently shared this video with me.  It is a 20 minute "round-table" discussion about the Gospel, God's love, and family.  Much of what they discuss is in the context of parent-child relationships, but I am convinced most of what they say can and should apply to our relationships in our church family.  And by "church family" I do mean family because that is what the church should be - a spiritual family united in Jesus.

As I watched I certainly thought a lot about my kids, but I was struck with how well Paul and Elyse articulate the essential approach to making disciples - a relationship of love whereby I communicate the character and knowledge of God to someone else.  Just about everywhere they reference "parent" and "child" you could substitute "discipler" and "disciple" respectively.

In a word...

I've been thinking more lately about the simplest explanation for why I do not support "institutional" church but choose instead to pursue an alternative expression. I think I can sum up my explanation with just one word - love.  The story behind this summary is simple.

I grew up in the institutional church, attending services on Sundays and Wednesday nights and attending a private Christian school 5 days a week. Therefore, I had heard about love a lot since it's discussed again and again in the Scriptures. I think I even memorized 1 Corinthians 13 at one point.

However, I never came close to grasping the awesome importance of love until the Holy Spirit overwhelmed me on a hike in Devil's Den state park during my junior year of college.  All the Scriptural truth I had learned growing up, my bitter disappointment with life, and my profound loneliness coalesced in a moment. It was a divine encounter which fundamentally altered the trajectory of my life.

From there I had a series of 3 pivotal relationships with men who taught me how to follow Jesus. In other words, they loved me and taught me how to love; they discipled me.

After those experiences the Scriptures appeared differently to my eyes. All the discussion about love - how it fulfills the whole law, how it is the goal of our instruction, how it is the greatest commandment, etc. - suddenly had unprecedented clarity. I understood why everything is worthless without love (1 Cor. 13:1-3).

At this point I began to evaluate my priorities - how I spent my time, where I put my energy, etc. My evaluation led me to spend more time pursuing relationships so that I could love other men like I had been loved. I pursued these relationships in both one-on-one and communal contexts - having coffee, lunches, etc. with guys and then spending time with them together on a weekly basis to share life on a broader level. Conversely, this led me to drop Sunday morning services and other institutional activities so far down the priority list that there simply wasn't room for them in my life anymore.

In the time since I left the institutional church I got married, had three kids, began home-schooling, and became a foster parent for the state of Arkansas. My responsibilities have grown immensely, and my belief in putting first things (i.e. love) first has like-wise grown. Loving Jesus by loving others is the most effective way I have found to obey the Scriptures, combat the sin in my heart, and grow my faith as I treasure Christ above my personal comfort.  I don't have time, energy, etc. to put toward something that is less effective, nor do I believe I have the Biblical right.

I'm convinced that the institutional nature and structure of the predominant form of church in America today does not fundamentally facilitate and empower love-filled, Christ-centered relationships.  That's not to say it doesn't aid these kinds of relationships at all.    However, given the importance of love in the Scriptures such an institutional form of church is far from ideal in my opinion because it emphasizes too many activities and focuses too many resources on things which don't directly facilitate love.  I strongly believe we should organize ourselves in such a way as to make relationships central, and that our times together should focus on growing the seed of love planted in us by the Holy Spirit.

To be clear, I don't believe this is an issue of personal preference or pragmatism.  The issue isn't that institutional church doesn't "work" for me.  I believe this is an issue of taking the Biblical commands to love seriously.

Here's the logical progression as I see it:

1. What is our commission?  To make disciples.
2. What is a disciple?  One who observes all the commands of Jesus.
3. What is the summary of all the commands of Jesus?  Love.
4. Through was avenue is love best communicated?  Relationships.

A few natural questions:

• Is this an oversimplification?
• Am I overstating the importance of love?